


of corpses and chaos.

by ladyygrey



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Loki (Marvel) Angst, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Canon Compliant, Poor Loki (Marvel), Suicide Attempt, i've only seen endgame once, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-08-13 09:37:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20172100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyygrey/pseuds/ladyygrey
Summary: loki survived, yet his brother didn't. neither did brunnhilde.all he could do was keep their legacy alive and try to bring them all back. while trying to deal with some heroes who defiantly don't want him around.





	1. the one where he survived.

**Author's Note:**

> so yes, i am aware that i'm supposed to be writing another fanfiction, but this idea popped into my head and i couldn't stop thinking about it. i've only seen endgame once, so i did fudge the timeline a bit to better suit my needs, and to stop myself from constantly worrying about accuracy.
> 
> i do hope you all enjoy it, though.

In all honesty, nobody had expected Loki to survive. The heroes were all surprised to see the god of mischief when Thor had arrived ( along with a talking tree and raccoon, so maybe Loki wasn't the _strangest_ thing to happen ).

It was clear that Loki and Thanos had history. "I thought I told you no resurrections," they had heard the Titan say.

Loki had just barely suppressed a flinch.

And when Thor buried Stormbreaker deep into Thanos' chest they had all thought the battle was over. Oh, how they wished for the battle to be over.

But the snap still came, and Thanos vanished just as soon as he came, leaving corpses and chaos in his wake.

Loki heard the clatter of Barnes' gun, and Rocket whispering to a dusting Groot. He lunged to Thor, bracing for his own fate, the movement making his neck throb.

But it never came.

He opened his eyes and met Thor's, his brother's arms feeling ashy. They were ashy and-

and it was spreading.

Stormbreaker fell to the ground, the thunder god's torso disintegrating.

"Loki, I-"

Loki sucked in a sharp breath, trying to grab at his brother, "No, no, Thor. Thor _stop_."

Thor flashed his brother some type of a smile ( was it a smile? Loki can't remember ) and then his head was gone with the wind, blowing into Loki's face. It was so difficult to breathe. Whether it was the dust in his face or the fact that Thor was dead Loki didn't know ( it very well could have been both ).

But he couldn't bother to care.

There was commotion, talking, it sounded like, Loki couldn't tell. His knees buckled, his hands crashing into the Earth. He could feel blood trickling down the side of his face. It was wet, but not particularly warm.

But he wasn't particularly warm, either.

After a few minutes of sniffling a few had stood, Loki being one of them. He wrapped his fingers around Stormbreaker, not daring to leave it there. The handle was still practically vibrating with power, but frankly, Loki was to numb feeling to notice.

The survivors slowly trekked back to the main city of Wakanda, the battle with Thanos being in the outskirts. Loki just wanted to sleep - or something.

He wanted Brunnhilde. He wanted Thor. He wanted his mother.

He just wanted to all be over.

**♔ ♔ ♔**

"You know your blood's blue... right?" Bruce whispered to Loki as if he wasn't aware, wiping of the wound on his temple. Loki gave a brief nod, even the slightest movement making his feel like it was imploding.

The last of them were in an infirmary-like room. Some were still sniffling, others were being bandaged. A few stared off into space. There weren't very many of them left.

Obviously.

Loki thought about the last of the Asgardians. About how many there were left ( the numbers had already been slim ). He wondered if Brunnhilde had survived.

Fucking Norns, he hoped she survived.

Loki's face tensed as Bruce stitched his face. He'd been through worse, really, but the feeling just made him uncomfortable. After putting a bandage on the stitched wound Bruce gave him a watery smile, patted his shoulder, then stood up to grab some water.

Thinking about it - Loki was thirsty.

He stayed sitting in the hard plastic chair though. Whenever he moved the last of the Avengers would twitch and shoot him glances. They acted as if he didn't notice. As if even though he'd just lost the most important person to him he still planned on strangling them ( though, that didn't sound like _the worst idea_ ).

"Loki," Bruce said quietly.

The aforementioned god looked up, to see Bruce offering him a bottle of water. Loki gratefully accepted it, quickly finishing it off ( he refilled it himself. The power of magic ).

The Captain gave him a small look. It was definitely strange to the lot of them seeing Bruce being so nice to Loki, but they had fought together for Asgard. Plus, he was the only one there who didn't hate him ( aside from maybe Rocket, but he was busy, to say the least ).

Rogers stood, "I think I'm going to go ask Queen Ramonda for maybe some rooms. I bet we're all tired," he said to nobody in particular. He certainly wasn't as confident sounding as Loki remembered, but he couldn't really blame him, could he?

The shut of the door was echoey in the almost silent room. Bruce stood up briefly smiling at Loki ( was it supposed to be comforting? ) before stepping over to Romanov.

The pair quietly whispered, Natasha patting Bruce's knee. Loki tore his eyes away.

He didn't belong here. With them.

He worked with Thanos. He should've been stronger - _could've been stronger._

But Thanos has a way of getting what he wants.

Loki could feel the scars on his body, just thinking about it. It made the god's skin crawl. He could feel something rising in his throat.

And before Loki knew it he was kneeling over a garbage can, anything he had in his stomach coming back up. It was tearing at his throat, the pure acidity of it making it hurt worse.

He could feel their eyes on him. Loki stood up and wiped his mouth, stepping back over to his ( uncomfortable as Hel ) chair. His eyes met somebody's ( Rhodes, he thinks his name was ) and he just tilts his head and raises his eyebrows.

They all look away.

After a few more minutes of grueling awkward silence, the Good Captain stepped back in, motioning for the group to follow him. Loki grabbed Stormbreaker, dragging it limply behind him. He was probably scratching the up floor, but nobody said anything about it.

Bruce and Loki ended up sharing a room. Most likely because he was the only one who could stand the god.

Immediately Loki plopped down on a bed, sinking into it. Bruce barely spared him a glance before looking back out the large windows. Destruction was the only thing in sight.

Loki shut his eyes ( Norns, he was just so tired ), but whenever they closed he was met with the face of The Mad Titan staring right back at him. So sleeping wasn't an option. He attempted to use his magic, but it was so weak that he was only able to conjure a pathetic witch light.

The light was dim.

And so were Loki's spirits.


	2. the one where they arrive.

A month had passed since the snap ( or The Vanishing, as most people called it ). Most of the world had slowly attempted to get back to day to day life, choosing not to wallow in the loss of their loved ones.

Loki was one of those people.

New Asgard had just barely started construction in Norway. Near the cliff where the All-Father had passed ( Thor would've wanted it like this ). Being the king was harder than Loki had remembered it, but maybe it was the circumstance.

The god had thought that if Brunnhilde had survived she would've taken over, for the most part. His people already loved her, and she was strong-willed enough to rule.

_If she'd had survived._

It was difficult, trying to motivate the Æsir. After the death of the All-Father, then the destruction of Asgard, and finally the death of their new king and half of the population most were disheartened. But Loki tried, he really did.

Believe it or not, he did care about his people.

Bruce visited often, as Loki often visited the United States .Most of the heroes had gotten used to his presence by now ( not to be confused by them forgiving him ).

The woman that Fury tried to contact showed up, Carol Danvers ,she said her name was. Loki respected her, that was for sure.

On the other hand, Tony Stark hadn't showed up. They were starting to loose hope that he and everyone else who went with him had dusted. The Avengers mourned their friends and Potts mourned her fiance.

That was until one day they received word that Danvers had found a ship with Stark and a blue woman ( Nebula, Loki knew ).

The landing of their ship was surprisingly smooth, and Carol gave everybody on the ground a glance. Loki stood next to Rocket, the only other one of them who was waiting for Nebula and not Stark.

When the pair stepped out Tony looked absolutely terrible, yet Nebula looked mostly fine ( she was mostly robotic, after all ). Stark fell into Rogers and Potts, whispering something to the man. He didn't even mention Loki, even though he obviously saw him. Loki and Rocket walked over to Nebula who was sitting on the ship's steps.

Rocket grabbed her hands and Loki turned her head towards himself. He gripped her face ( to a few it looked as if he was going to slap her ) and pushed a piece of metal back into her head. Tony didn't even know it was out of place, although Nebula never said anything.

The three sat in silence, while the others went inside.

**♔ ♔ ♔**

The next morning the group sat together. Stark yelled at Rogers who just took it. It was awkward, so say the least. Loki tried not to stare.

It wasn't until later Stark finally acknowledged him. He was sitting in a common room reading when Tony rolled in.

"What are you doing here?"

Loki looked up at the man, "I am here for Nebula."

"What do you want with her?" Stark asked with what Loki sensed was a small amount of protectiveness.

"Nebula, her sister, and I all got somewhat close while her father held me captive."

Stark raised an eyebrow, "You two are pretty similar," he said, "But don't think that just because I'm not kicking you out means I forgive you. It still _haunts my fucking nightmares_."

"I didn't expect you to," Loki said simply. Tony nodded and went to leave when Loki called out to him, "And Stark? It haunts my nightmares, too."

Tony rolled away.

Loki went back to his book.

The next few days were quiet. Loki had little interaction with any of the leftover Avengers, aside from Bruce. The group had now ended up back in New York ( aside from when Loki went to go check back up on New Asgard ).

It was about another month before Danvers announced that she'd go and kill Thanos. Nebula and Loki immediately had objections, both wanting to kill the Titan themselves.

And after Rocket told them energy similar to the stones had been felt on a planet far away they had planned their attack.

"So, Thanos had a retirement plan," Rhodes said, his face twisting into a scowl.

Nebula rolled her eyes. Loki could tell that she was uncomfortable by the situation, all her instincts telling her to stand by her father and he'd _finally love her_.

Loki placed a hand on her shoulder, giving a her a look. It was stern, yet understanding. Nobody understood what it meant, but they didn't really think about it too hard.

**♔ ♔ ♔**

That night Loki was restless. He was rooming with Bruce again, but the doctor was already asleep.

Loki rolled over to his side, is entire body aching with the movement. Saying he was anxious was an understatement; he was petrified. Thanos haunted Loki every moment of the god's long, long life.

How the Titian twisted and pulled apart his brain, putting it back however he pleased. How he and his childeren mutilated Loki's body slice by slice, just to see how long it'd take him to heal.

Loki breath stuttered, his adrenaline spiking with the thought of Thanos.

Morning really couldn't come soon enough.

But low and behold, he did eventually fall asleep, but it wasn't for long. After what felt like five minutes of rest, Bruce was standing over him, calling out his name.

"Loki, come on man, you gotta get up. I thought you were an early riser..."

Loki sighed, realising he couldn't fight Bruce, and sat up. His hair was a mess around his face, the darkness of it making Loki look even paler then he already was.

Bruce let out a sigh of relief, "Oh, I thought you'd never get up, c'mon, we gotta get going," he said, stepping away from Loki's bed. "Maybe if we're fast enough we can eat something before we go."

Loki nodded, but his limbs didn't move.

Bruce cocked his head to the side, grabbing his bag, "Well, I'll be in the kitchen. You know where that is, right?"

Loki nodded again, and Bruce hesitantly left Loki in the room by himself. It took the god a minute or two, but he did eventually get out of the bed.

Choosing what to wear did take a bit longer, though.

He had been wearing his reagular Asgardian leathers, but some of the Æsir had started wearing Midgarian clothes. Loki didn't think he was ready for that. Maybe one day, but not today.

So Loki put on his leathers, used his sedir to smooth down his hair, and made his way down to the kitchen looking as confident as he could.

He was _so ready_ to kill Thanos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, i feel like this chapter is just all over the place. after realizing i hadn't updated in so long i rushed to finish the last half-ish of this chapter. it's kinda a mess now -- sorry.
> 
> i hope you all still enjoyed it, though. kudos and comments always appreciated!


End file.
